Some people live their lives in a courtroom. Everything that happens, everyone they meet, is on trial.

Then there are those who play the part of the accused. They listen to the prosecutor, and shake in their shoes about what the judge might decide. They try to defend themselves, to explain their actions and motives, hoping to escape a harsh verdict.

Paul has a gavel in his office that he offers to his clients who do this: Who holds the gavel in your life? he asks. Whose judgment do you fear? For some, the judge is their parent, or spouse, their boss or coworkers, or even their children. For many, the judge is that faceless tyrant named What Others May Think. Taking the gavel into their own hands would be a good first step to recovery!

Holding the gavel themselves wouldn’t help those who stand before that judge named How Things Ought to Be. My children shouldn’t talk to me that way, they say. People shouldn’t get promoted who don’t have the seniority. The world is full of injustice, and it’s wrong, wrong, wrong. And what about those who cannot forgive themselves for not being the perfect beings they should be by now.

Now there are times in life that living in a courtroom may be appropriate. In the daily practice of Twelve-Step spirituality, taking one’s own moral inventory is very important. Certainly we must all struggle against injustice. There are times it is appropriate to sweep our lives clean, and to strive to keep our lives clean thereafter. But being human means we can never be perfect.

If you or someone you love have ever been involved in a lawsuit, you know how stressful it is. Living under constant scrutiny, or with uninterrupted negative judgment of others, brings no one serenity.

Now imagine that next door to this courtroom is a laboratory. Inside scientists are running one experiment after another. First, they try this. If that doesn’t work, they add this element, subtract something else, and try again. They may have many failures, like Thomas Edison did. He tried over 1000 substances before he found the right filament for his electric light bulb! Scientists introduce one change after another, observe the results, and then evaluate: Did this work, or not work? Is this a more effective method than what we were doing? Did we run this experiment more skillfully, or less skillfully, than before? What could we do differently next time?

If you had to live in one of these rooms, which one would you choose?

Now consider which one you are living in, right now. Listen to your thoughts this week. Try changing a thought such as That was a stupid thing to do to a thought that I could do that better next time. And if you struggle with a chronic problem (and who of us doesn’t?), here’s some good news: You’ll get another chance to try again soon. It’ll come around again in no time!

Try getting out of the courtroom and into the laboratory this week! You’ll feel better, and you’ll be more effective, and you’ll have plenty of Courage2Change.