My Refuge

By David D. Meade

 

A year ago I was empty
     alone in the desert.

My heart of stone    
     cold and dead.
Loneliness and despair greeted me each morning
     Satan laughing at me each night.
Praying and crying filled each day
     why can I not let these feelings go?

Where is the peace that passes understanding
     where is thou refuge?
Go away feelings
     leave this body of mine!
Logic makes sense
     but the heart not caring.

Why has God made me this way   
     to cry when people hurt.
Laugh when people are happy
     fill with anger at unrighteousness.
Are these curses for my sinful heart
     or unrecognized blessings?

God in his infinite mercies
     filled me with his Holy Spirit.
Crushed my heart of stone
     and breathed new life into my soul.
He met me in my desert and provided
     a stream of living water.
A refuge to protect and comfort me
     He provided me you.

How I long to be held by you
     to open my heart.
I need you in my life
     not for the things you do.

Though they are wonderful
     and make life easier.
Not for the mother of my children
     though what a gift you are to them.

I need you in my life as a friend  
     to share openly without criticism.
To be companions
     encouraging and building each other up.
To form a close intimate bond
      filling our hearts with peace and joy.

I am not strong
     to stand alone.
I need your sweet love
     and strong support to hold me together.
My gift to you this Valentines Day
     is the gift that God has given me.
To love you
     with a heart full of passion!