Building Blocks for Happiness?

When I first saw the Search Institute's handout on 40 Assets in Healthy Development, I was impressed. What a great guide for parents! I made copies and took it home to our kids, asking them how they thought we were doing in our family. Some of the sections, such as the ones on Support and Boundaries, list the responsibilities of parents and other adults in a young person's life. But others, such as Commitment to Learning, cannot be done by others on behalf of youth. Those the young person must choose to do on his or her own. We had an interesting discussion at our house that day.

Since then, I've thought a lot about these assets. In our work here at Courage2Change, we see people who had many, if not all, these assets available when they were growing up, and we see many others who did not. These assets are indeed foundational, and it is important that we all seek to provide them in our communities and homes. But they do not guarantee personal happiness for anyone. As Scott Peck said so well, life is difficult. Those

When I first saw the Search Institute's handout on 40 Assets in Healthy Development, I was impressed. What a great guide for parents! I made copies and took it home to our kids, asking them how they thought we were doing in our family. Some of the sections, such as the ones on Support and Boundaries, list the responsibilities of parents and other adults in a young person's life. But others, such as Commitment to Learning, cannot be done by others on behalf of youth. Those the young person must choose to do on his or her own. We had an interesting discussion at our house that day.

Since then, I've thought a lot about these assets. In our work here at Courage2Change, we see people who had many, if not all, these assets available when they were growing up, and we see many others who did not. These assets are indeed foundational, and it is important that we all seek to provide them in our communities and homes. But they do not guarantee personal happiness for anyone. As Scott Peck said so well, life is difficult. Those 

who knew these advantages had the opportunity to grow up with inner resources that help them to meet life's challenges--resources such as self-confidence, faith in a Higher Power, a sense of purpose. But even they--the lucky ones in childhood--had to claim these resources and make them their own, by choosing to accept what was offered them. No parent can make this choice happen for their child.

Every one of us had parents who were fallible human beings with their own struggles and challenges in life. I like to remind my clients that none of us gets out of childhood unwounded. But that doesn't mean we can't claim these resources later in our lives. We do this by our choices now. Like good parents, we can set healthy limits and boundaries for ourselves. We can make certain our self-talk is encouraging and positive, as we seek to meet reasonable expectations for growth and change. We can  commit  to learning the skills and tools we need to become the person we want to be. 

who knew these advantages had the opportunity to grow up with inner resources that help them to meet life's challenges--resources such as self-confidence, faith in a Higher Power, a sense of purpose. But even they--the lucky ones in childhood--had to claim these resources and make them their own, by choosing to accept what was offered them. No parent can make this choice happen for their child.

Every one of us had parents who were fallible human beings with their own struggles and challenges in life. I like to remind my clients that none of us gets out of childhood unwounded. But that doesn't mean we can't claim these resources later in our lives. We do this by our choices now. Like good parents, we can set healthy limits and boundaries for ourselves. We can make certain our self-talk is encouraging and positive, as we seek to meet reasonable expectations for growth and change. We can  commit  to learning the skills and tools we need to become the person we want to be. 

We hope you take a moment to look over these 40 assets. Which ones are you providing for yourself, now? Are you safe? Are you learning? Do you live with integrity? Are you a friend to someone? Are you a friend to yourself? These are questions worth asking as we reach deep every day to find our own Courage2Change.